101st thing about me

101. When I eat at my mama's house, I usually have more butterbeans for dessert.

That concludes "Butterbean Week" at ...slowly she turned.

100 things

1. I have six cats that are like children to me.
   
2. My husband is my seventh child.
   
3. We enjoy being children together.
   
4. I am typing this on a ten-year-old computer that I am too stubborn to give up.
   
5. I snarled at my husband when he replaced the 15" monitor with a 17" monitor.
   
6. I have been playing a DOS game called Empire for about 14-15 years now.
   
7. I'm just a trifle reluctant to try new things.
   
8. Ten years ago I would have been happy just to have a 40-hour M-F desk job by now.
   
9. Five years ago I thought I'd be a professional Web designer by now.
   
10. Three years ago I thought I'd be in the loony bin by now.
    
11. Two years ago I would have been happy to have a 40-hour M-F desk job AND co-workers who didn’t give me migraines by now.
    
12. One year ago I realized that I’d made it and things were gonna be okay.
    
13. I got my B.A. in drama 22 years ago.
    
14. I have seen one play since, only because a friend’s husband was in it, and it wasn’t very good.
    
15. I am a graduate student in a Master of Arts in Liberal Studies program.
    
16. Money is not important to me.
    
17. Saving the environment is important to me.
    
18. I'm an artist but since I began blogging I've thrown all my creativity into that.
    
19. I am a lapsed tapestry weaver.
    
20. I am a maker of jewelry, but I wear very little jewelry.
    
21. I don't wear make-up.
    
22. I'm twenty pounds overweight.
    
23. I used to care, but I'm okay with it now.
    
24. I would wear T-shirts, jeans, and flip-flops everywhere if given the option.
    
25. I was a boy until I turned eleven.
    
26. I am a recovering agoraphobic.
    
27. I used to smoke a pack and a half of cigarettes a day.
    
28. I quit smoking ten years ago.
    
29. I am a farmer's daughter.
    
30. My garden is my refuge.
    
31. I hate to sweat.
    
32. I can’t believe that I tested as an INTJ. Twice.
    
33. Yet I am a proud liberal who thinks that tax-supported government programs made this country great.
    
34. I am a 5 with a strong 4-wing on the Enneagram, meaning that I’m 60% hermit computer geek and 40% neurotic drama queen.
    
35. Governor’s School East, 1978, English.
    
36. I didn’t really believe in my heart that being smart was a good thing until I was around 35.
    
37. I’ll kick your butt in Scrabble. Come on, it’s go time.
    
38. I have a thick Southern drawl. It makes some people think I’m stupid.
    
39. I just learned to like olives this year.
    
40. If it wasn’t for seafood, I easily could go vegetarian.
    
41. I don’t eat veal or lamb.
    
42. I don’t eat factory-farmed meat and poultry.
    
43. I eat Peter Pan peanut butter straight out of the jar.
    
44. I am addicted to Pepsi One.
    
45. I once watched “American Idol” for ten minutes.
    
46. Except for those ten minutes, to my knowledge I have never watched any reality shows.
    
47. A new Star Wars movie. Ho-hum.
    
48. A new season of “The Sopranos.” When? When does it start? Huh? Huh? Is it time yet?
    
49. I’m beginning to look like my mother.
    
50. I would like to get rid of half of my possessions.
    
51. I would like to get rid of my husband’s jet ski and buy two canoes.
    
52. I love Lyle Lovett and Bela Fleck.
    
53. I might not look you in the eye when I talk to you. Please don’t hold it against me; I probably don’t realize what I’m doing, and I’ve been working on it for years.
    
54. My husband calls me Lori. My name is Laurie.
    
55. Even though we’ve been together 20 years now.
    
56. I’m fascinated with the idea of doing more with less.
    
57. Yet we have four computers in this room right now.
    
58. I like to drink beer.
    
59. I am very allergic to perfume.
    
60. Once I had my photo, large and in color, on the front of the Life section of the News and Record. The caption was “The Agony of Defeat.” No, I didn’t save any copies.
    
61. It was taken at a pinball tournament, a game at which I used to excel.
    
62. I also used to excel at tennis.
    
63. Now I excel at Microsoft Excel.
    
64. The caption under my baby picture at my mother’s obstetrician’s office: “Liz Taylor’s got nothing on me!”
    
65. I daydream about living in, outside of, near, or closer to Asheville.
    
66. As a child, I read “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass” to the end and turned back to the first page dozens of times.
    
67. I am a lapsed 18th century re-enactor.
    
68. I’m afraid of flying, but I’m going to Tuscany next year anyway.
    
69. If you don’t understand what I mean, I’m probably trying to be funny. It’s okay, just laugh.
    
70. I’m trying to learn patience, but it's taking so freakin’ long!
    
71. I have bad skin. See #59.
    
72. Women have broken my heart more often and more deeply than men.
    
73. I have never ever said the words, “I am a people person,” in a job interview.
    
74. I am honest to a fault.
    
75. Next to my DH, Squirt the Buddha Kitty claims my heart.
    
76. I have missed out on some really great events because I don’t like crowds.
    
77. I don’t know what people are talking about half the time because I watch so little TV and listen to NPR. Is this good or bad?
    
78. I daydream about living off the grid, growing my own food and living off my creative talents.
    
79. I’m not tough enough.
    
80. But I do like tofu.
    
81. I’m not afraid of spiders when I’m awake. Usually.
    
82. I am lightly medicated.
    
83. I hate shopping for shoes.
    
84. I think that people who don’t support full civil rights for gays and lesbians need to get to know more openly gay people.
    
85. I can pick up a soccer ball with my toes.
    
86. I played bells and baritone saxophone in high school.
    
87. I am childless by choice.
    
88. I am one of the whitest white people I know.
    
89. I love rocks.
    
90. Smart, pleasant Republicans totally freak me out.
    
91. I daydream about owning a used bookstore.
    
92. I never know who’s in the Super Bowl or the World Series. Is that bad?
    
93. I was a spelling bee contender, but nerves got the best of me at the state level three years in a row.
    
94. I have an easel and oil paints set up in the next room, gathering dust.
    
95. My favorite D&D character’s name was Argentina Brunetti.
    
96. I want to eat dinner at Sushi 101 tonight.
    
97. Seriously, please take the money you were going to spend on me for Christmas and give it to charity.
    
98. But I’ll take a back rub. Or a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
    
99. A “B” is a “D.” A “C” is an “F.”
    
100. For my superhuman ability, I pick talking to animals.
     

nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

When I went to the Piedmont Triad Bloggers meet-up last month, I was thrilled when a couple of people immediately picked up on where I got the title for my blog.

You see, I was looking for something a little punny that started with the word "slow," because of my fascination with the Slow Food movement and the idea that I was planning to write about my garden and my life changes as a result of embracing this philosophy. And, I just happen to be a big Three Stooges fan.

All I could remember was a routine in one of the Three Stooges films in which Moe says "Niagara Falls! Slooowly I turned. Step by step, inch by inch..." Then, predictably, something violent happened.

Well, my life is a bit complicated, and I can't tell you just how APPROPRIATE this title has been! I really picked it because my life is improving step by step, and I have confidence in the idea that we can all change the world inch by inch, one choice at a time. It was good to have a descriptive title that had a bit of subversive humor in it, though, because there have been quite a few times since I began this blog when I would have just loved to poke somebody in the eyeballs. Whenever I get a bit too serious about my "mission" or depressed about politics, I get a little reminder of slapping Curly upside the head, and I smile.

I did a little research on Google, and learned that this is an old vaudeville standard. The Stooges built one of their shorts around it in the movie "Gents Without Cents" in 1944. The same year, Abbott and Costello performed the bit in "Lost in a Harem." Bud and Lou used the trigger word "Poko Moko" instead of "Niagara Falls." I understand that Lucy Ricardo also did a version of the routine in Ricky's club where she was attacked by a man when she said "Martha," but there are differing accounts of this. I'll let a Lucy expert correct me in the comments.

Here's a link to the Abbott and Costello script. And the Niagara Falls Reporter wrote a good article on the overall history of the routine.

Googling "Slowly She Turned" turns up all kinds of torrid romance, however.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.